99 Gordon Ramsay Quotes & Insults That Prove Steak Isn't The Only Thing He Can Roast (2024)

Gordon Ramsay. We all know him. Perhaps you've even seen the video of him carving a chicken while blindfolded. There's no denying he's a king of the kitchen — but he's also an absolute master of the roast. His insults are some of the meanest, most debasing, most hysterically creative we've ever seen. So we took the liberty of compiling some of his most savage quotes below. Store these away for a rainy day when you need to impress your friends (or enemies) with an absolutely devastating roast. Which one is my favorite, you ask? I literally couldn't pick. They're all just too rich. 1. 2. "This squid is so undercooked I can still hear it telling SpongeBob to f*ck off." 3. 4. “Chefs are nutters. They’re all self-obsessed, delicate, dainty, insecure little souls and absolute psychopaths. Every last one of them.” 5. "It's so f*cking raw it's still got its wool on it!" 6. 7. "Are we making a soup or trying to summon a demon?" 8. "Right, I'll get you more pumpkin and I'll ram it right up your f*cking arse. Would you like it whole or diced?" 9. 10. 11. "You added so much salt and pepper I can hear the dish singing ‘Push It.'" 12. "I’ve never, ever, ever, ever, ever met someone I believe in… as little as you." 13. "Right now, I'd rather eat poodle sh*t than put that in my mouth." 14. "You put so much ginger in this, it’s a Weasley!" 15. 16. "I feel like I've just given birth. I guess that's the placenta. It's ghastly. " 17. 18. "The beef is so undercooked, it's starting to eat the f*cking salad!" 19. "This crab is so undercooked I can still hear it singing 'Under the Sea.'" 20. "This fish is so raw, he’s still finding Nemo.” 21. “Swearing is industry language. For as long as we’re alive, it’s not going to change. You’ve got to be boisterous to get results.” 22. "The salmon is raw and the chicken is as dry as a f*cking camel's ass in a f*cking desert storm." 23. 24. “There’s enough garlic in here to kill every vampire in Europe.” 25. “You used so much oil, the U.S. want to invade the f*cking plate!” 26. "This chicken is so uncooked that a skilled vet could still save him!" 27. "Forecast for tomorrow? 100% chance of tears." 28. 29. 30. “Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn’t f*cking cook it!” 31. 32. "Missy, clean your f*cking glasses!" 33. "This fish is so Frozen that it is still singing 'Let it Go!'" 34. 35. "The problem with Yanks is they are wimps." 36. "This pizza is so disgusting, if you take it to Italy you’ll get arrested.” 37. "Cooking today is a young man’s game, I don’t give a bollocks what anyone says." 38. 39. "The minute you start compromising for the sake of massaging somebody’s ego, that’s it, game over." 40. 41. "I’m Gordon Ramsay, for goodness sake; people know I’m volatile." 42. 43. “If I tell you to get out there I don’t give a f*ck if you’ve got a thong up your crack.” 44. 45. "This f*cking pigeon is that raw it can still fly." 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. 51. 52. 53. 54. 55. 56. 57. 58. 59. 60. 61. 62. 63. 64. 65. 66. 67. 68. 69. 70. "This lamb is so undercooked, it's following Mary to school!” 71. 72. 73. 74. 75. 76. 77. 78. 79. 80. 81. 82. 83. 84. 85. 86. 87. 88. 89. 90. 91. 92. 93. 94. 95. 96. 97. 98.